Assless Chaps and Other Christmas Gifts

Friday, December 17th, 2010

God-King JeremyGod-King Jeremy is the current ruler of the planet.  After wiping out Earth’s defenses, he set to work reorganizing the world’s social, political, information, and entertainment infrastructures, only to discover that they didn’t need much changing to encourage a culture of human slavery.  He is cruel, petty, greedy, and devoid of basic morality. In his spare time he answers questions and gives advice.  Ask Jeremy at

What is your opinion on assless chaps?
I prefer my chaps with ass. The more ass, the better. If you have any leftover ass that you’re not going to use, send it my way.

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How come you don’t have a sense of humour?
I do. It’s just highly evolved. That’s why when I burn children, it’s only funny to me.

Why so awesome? (via dengitveronica)
I believe you mean to ask me why am I so much more awesome than you. And, really, it would take me a lifetime to explain all of the ways I am better than a human. Were I a poet, capable of encapsulating entire experiences in few words, I would probably say that I am better than you because I am like you on your best day, only dipped in gold-diamonds and flush with cocaine.

Instead of buying my loved ones gifts this Christmas, I want to give them something handmade. Any ideas? (via amandagreen)
Handmade, hmm? Jobs? I hear they’re very popular among human males.

Do the members of alien societies experience conflict based on class, race, and cultural differences, or is this just a human phenomenon?
There are very few class, race, or cultural distinctions so when we need to boost our egos to feel superior, we enslave a world and usually that does the trick. I personally find humans to be uniquely stupid, but I don’t think that has anything to do with their class, race, or culture.

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