Gone Phishing

jackson — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 04:25:25 +0000

Phishing (fĭsh·ing) (n.) In the field of computer security, phishing is the criminally fraudulent process of attempting to acquire sensitive information such as usernames, passwords, and credit card details by masquerading as a trustworthy entity in an electronic communication. Communications purporting to be from popular social websites, auction sites, online payment processors, or IT administrators are commonly used to lure the unsuspecting public. Phishing is typically carried out by email or instant messaging, and it often directs users to enter details at a fake website whose look and feel are almost identical to the legitimate one. (from Wikipedia)

Below is the transcript of a conversation with someone who tried to phish me the other day. I’ve changed the names and dangerous URLs to protect the innocent (i.e.: you).

MFerprime (4:17:33 PM): hey
jakes (4:17:45 PM): hiya
MFerprime (4:17:53 PM): how are you doing
jakes (4:18:05 PM): very well, thank you.
jakes (4:18:29 PM): how are you on this fine afternoon?
MFerprime (4:18:37 PM): doing well
MFerprime (4:18:48 PM): do you have an myspace?
jakes 4:19:05 PM): of course. do you have one?
MFerprime (4:19:10 PM): yea
MFerprime (4:19:16 PM): do you want to see mine?
jakes (4:19:18 PM): what’s the url?
MFerprime (4:19:41 PM): myspace.com/MFerprime
MFerprime (4:19:45 PM): can yours?
jakes (4:21:37 PM): you don’t know my myspace?
MFerprime (4:21:52 PM): no I am sry
jakes (4:22:04 PM): wait, how did you gt this IM name then?
MFerprime (4:22:20 PM): I think form your myspace I am not sure
jakes (4:22:53 PM): oh cool, where you from man?
MFerprime (4:23:10 PM): I am from Westlake village
MFerprime (4:23:16 PM): can I please your myspace?
jakes (4:23:32 PM): oh sure, hold on.
jakes (4:25:55 PM): http://www.myspace.com/parishilton
jakes (4:26:58 PM): did you get it? did you get what I’m trying to send you? I think i did that right but i’m not sure
MFerprime (4:27:23 PM): that is your myspace link
jakes (4:27:38 PM): i think so. is that not right?
jakes (4:28:00 PM): oh crap
jakes (4:28:06 PM): i sent the wrong thing
MFerprime (4:28:16 PM): it is kool
jakes 4:28:19 PM): i was on that page and grabbed the wrong url
jakes (4:28:31 PM): lemme try again
MFerprime (4:28:35 PM): ok
jakes (4:29:12 PM): www.myspace.com/tilatequila
jakes 4:29:14 PM): there
jakes 4:29:27 PM): i think that’s it
jakes (4:29:54 PM): did you get it this time?
MFerprime (4:30:04 PM): yea
jakes (4:30:44 PM): what’s your name, partner?
MFerprime (4:30:54 PM): it is chris
MFerprime (4:31:06 PM): I am a drummer in a band called The Lame-borginis
jakes (4:31:31 PM): you seem like a groovy dude, chris. seriously groovy.
jakes (4:31:41 PM): like completely 100% groovy
jakes (4:31:56 PM): is that true?
MFerprime (4:32:01 PM): Think so
MFerprime (4:32:05 PM): do you like myspace?
jakes (4:32:48 PM): cool. listen, there’s nothing i don’t not like about myspace. seriously! how much do you like it?
MFerprime (4:33:12 PM): do you like my pics
MFerprime (4:33:18 PM): are you single?
jakes (4:34:55 PM): totally. do you like myspace and my pics? how much do you enjoy both things? take your time and answer thoughtfully.
MFerprime (4:35:19 PM): I really like your pics alot
jakes (4:35:20 PM): you’re pretty hot in the profile pic. i’m about to click on your album
jakes (4:35:39 PM): do you work out?
MFerprime (4:35:46 PM): yea
jakes (4:35:51 PM): wait how old are you?
MFerprime (4:35:55 PM): I am 22
MFerprime (4:35:57 PM): and you?
jakes (4:36:11 PM): you’re a little young for me
MFerprime (4:36:23 PM): how old are you?
jakes (4:36:44 PM): you’re like my brother’s age. that’s kinda creepy!
jakes (4:36:52 PM): but you seem nice
jakes (4:37:01 PM): you’re not a creep, right?
MFerprime (4:37:08 PM): hell no
MFerprime (4:37:21 PM): do you want to hear my music?
jakes (4:38:00 PM): oh yeah, totally. i really don’t not want to hear it, if that’s what you’re asking.
jakes (4:38:06 PM): what type of music is it?
MFerprime (4:38:15 PM): it is punk music
jakes (4:38:16 PM): is it loud and sexy?
jakes (4:38:29 PM): you don’t wear eyeliner, do you?
jakes (4:38:33 PM): that would be stupid
MFerprime (4:38:36 PM): no
jakes (4:38:40 PM): ok cool
jakes (4:38:44 PM): that would be lame
MFerprime (4:38:48 PM): I know
jakes (4:39:03 PM): are you any good?
jakes (4:39:10 PM): like on a label?
MFerprime (4:40:12 PM): check it for yourself
jakes (4:40:49 PM): i’m about to. how many people are in your band? like 5?
MFerprime (4:40:55 PM): http://www.myspace.com/Lame-borginis
jakes (4:41:02 PM): my brother has a band, but it’s like country shit
MFerprime (4:41:08 PM): that is kool
jakes (4:41:17 PM): no, i hate it.
jakes (4:41:29 PM): he’s such a dweeb
MFerprime 4:41:29 PM): what movies do you like?
jakes (4:42:26 PM): mostly european documentaries. french biographies. german silent films….what do you like?
MFerprime (4:42:56 PM): I like old Horror movies. I like to watch new movies
jakes (4:43:00 PM): what’s you’re favorite food? i bet it’s bitchin!
MFerprime (4:43:21 PM): Pizza lol
jakes (4:43:32 PM): do you like that band my chemical romance?
MFerprime (4:43:36 PM): yea
MFerprime 4:43:38 PM): do you?
jakes (4:43:45 PM): well, i hate them
jakes (4:43:52 PM): i hate them all the way
MFerprime (4:44:02 PM): that is kool
MFerprime (4:44:10 PM): can I see a real pic of you
jakes (4:44:42 PM): oh yeah sure, i’ll send you to my myspace page… gimme a sec. i barely use it.
MFerprime (4:44:54 PM): okay
jakes (4:45:09 PM): you seem spanish. are you spanish?
MFerprime (4:45:16 PM): no
MFerprime (4:45:21 PM): i am Itian
jakes (4:45:38 PM): that’s weird cuz you seem spanish.
jakes (4:45:50 PM): like totally a spaniard.
jakes (4:46:08 PM): like ponce de leon. do you like american history?
jakes (4:46:21 PM): or that movie american history x?
MFerprime 4:46:36 PM): yea I like American History X
jakes (4:47:16 PM): are you a neo nazi or something? that’s racist
MFerprime (4:47:25 PM): fuck no
jakes (4:47:28 PM): hey i gotta go
jakes (4:47:40 PM): don’t try to phish me anymore ok?

2 Steps Forward, 2 Steps Back: Top Six Cartoon Bands

jackson — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 08:55:07 +0000

When the first Gorillaz album came out, my first thought was that it was the end of music. And, no, I’m not a Gorillaz hater. To the contrary, I’m a huge Gorillaz nerd (for obvious reasons). But the implications of a successful cartoon band backed by a major label is horrifying.

For years, the music industry has been looking for quicker, easier, and cheaper ways to make and sell music. The problem from their perspective was always the artists. Sure, a label could always pump out music to meet demand, but inevitably they would need artists to act as salesmen for the product. They needed the Britneys and Simpsons so that the kids would have someone to relate to.

Though legitimately talented, the tragedy of the Gorillaz is that they signaled an end to this problem. As it turns out, the public is willing to buy music from a musician that has been literally manufactured. Need an indie rock superstar? Just make one up from scratch. And you don’t have to worry about a Britney-style breakdown or money disputes because your superstar is made from pen and ink. He’ll only be as flawed as public opinion wants him to be. It’s a music executive’s wet dream.

Still, it hasn’t exactly been easy finding the right balance. Lord knows there have been plenty of horrible mistakes on the path to cartoon pop stardom. Below are some of the more memorable.

THE ARCHIES

I wish I got as much ass as Archie. Seriously, how the fuck does this guy do it? I mean, not to be an asshole, but I’d cut off my own nose before I’d let some red-headed hippie fuck two of the hottest girls in my high school. His dick must be bigger than two forearms glued together. Listen to them here!

JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS

A concept way before its time, three multi-ethnic chicks bang out psychedelic riffs wearing sexy cat bondage gear. If this band came out today, it would go 15 times platinum in under one month. Take that, Pussycat Dolls! I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Josie was the most trashy. Listen to them here!

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS

Just because orphaned animals can sing doesn’t mean they should. The Christmas with the Chipmunks album is a form of child abuse. And what was up with that whole “talking animals in a human dominated society” angle? All I’m saying is, if humanoid chipmunks were considered a race, this stuff would be our generation’s Birth of a Nation. Listen to them here!

JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS

Gender equality is truly, truly, truly outrageous. Especially when it gives birth to hot female lead singers. So what if she used computers to fool her way to rock stardom…and lied to millions of fans…and was a two-timing, talentless hack. T-Pain has done far more damage to the music industry with computers, and he looks horrible in a miniskirt. Me and my friends are Jem girls! Listen to them here!

MC SKAT KAT

Go listen to “Opposites Attract” by Paula Abdul and then tell me that animated cats don’t deserve six-figure record deals. Fuck 50 Cent! He’d be all like,“I got shot 99 times.” And Skat Kat would respond,“Meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow!” Awwwww shit! That’s cold-blooded, son! Listen to them here!

PUFFY AMI YUMI

If you’re not from Japan, you might be saying,“Puffy Ami Whathafuck?” I understand. But outside of the USA, these two chicks are a household name, like Pledge. Cute bottles of Pledge that look good in bright colors. Get with the program you xenophobic a-hole! Asian cartoon punk-pop rules! Listen to them here!

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