The other morning I woke up in the middle of an unusually vivid dream in which I’d somehow found myself trapped on the rotting hulk of the Bob-Lo boat.
The Bob-Lo boat (there were actually two of them, the Ste. Claire and the Columbia) was a magical, wondrous craft that ferried people from downtown Detroit to [...]

I celebrated the passage of the health care reform bill by going to see a movie about the Republican vision for health care.  Repo Men, starring Jude Law and Forest Whitaker, portrays a dystopian future (is there any other kind these days?) in which private enterprise’s control over the medical system has reached its logical [...]

Lately my friends and I have been making up fake words. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I used the word “fauxpen” around a coworker the other day and everyone thought I was a crazy person. But fauxpen is a great word! It describes someone who pretends they’re super open and honest, but [...]

For many years afterward I’d approach this date with deep, dark trepidation, convinced that some sort of disaster was certain to befall me. The one time, though, that an actual disaster happened, I never saw it coming.

In honor of the new year, I thought I’d turn this column into a list of hipster predictions. Using some scientific data (i.e., a Google image search), I’m predicting where aesthetic hipster trends are headed in 2010.

I’ve wanted to write seriously about Chesnutt for years. I hoped one day to do a long interview with him for Verbicide. I figured that now that I was back in Georgia the opportunities to talk to his friends and family might present themselves and I could do an even longer piece. Why not? Even with his personal life in turmoil, his career was on an extraordinary trajectory.

I know what you’re thinking. You’ve been walking around your neighborhood for a while now, going: “Who are these cool kids hanging out on their stoops wearing neon sunglasses and talking about Vice? They look so aloof and ironic! How can I become one of them?”
Well, you are in luck, my friend. I’m here to [...]

One of my new favorite games to play is “that’s my indie band.” It’s kind of like “that’s what she said,” but less dirty. Here’s how you play: anytime anyone says a combination of words that don’t seem to go together you say, “___ is my new indie band.” For example, last week I was [...]

While reorganizing the archives of the Desperate Damned Society, I uncovered the minutes of a particular heady debate concerning the latest conflicts in Sumaria, which ended in the proposition to arm oneself with sustainable hygiene, as means of objection. I remember being amused at the time; after all, in those days we were all [...]

Moving to New York City three years ago was a little bit of a culture shock. All of a sudden I was confronted with things like “public transportation” and “Starbucks.” If I sound like a cliché, it’s because I was one – I grew up in a small rural town, and New York was pretty [...]

Alors: I was sitting on thin metal patio furniture, reclined and in repose after some physical training, smoothing down my collar and sipping on iced water. I was trying to expound on the physical training regimen designed for me by the Yogi of the Yellow Jacks, appealing to her figure…

by conventional standards, we are broke, or very nearly so. But thanks for noticing now, Republicans; a shame it escaped your notice when you — that’s right, you — were busily bankrupting us.

It was around 3 a.m. when the rain started. At first it was just a fine mist beading up on the cracked windshield. But by the time we hit I-77 in deepest, darkest part of West Virginia it was coming down in steady black sheets. There was an ill-wind blowing and our little car, weighed down with life’s possessions, swayed ominously with each gust.

Having recently dreamt that I authored a translation of the ancient Burmese text on quantum physics, and finding its contents remarkably prescient, I went searching for a suitable publisher. The lessons contained therein were as many and as fruitful as the dream state allows (infinite, as we read in N’es pas Mechant). Firstly, that all [...]

Phishing (fĭsh·ing) (n.) In the field of computer security, phishing is the criminally fraudulent process of attempting to acquire sensitive information such as usernames, passwords, and credit card details by masquerading as a trustworthy entity in an electronic communication. Communications purporting to be from popular social websites, auction sites, online payment processors, or IT administrators [...]