There are many reasons not to like a band. Either their sound isn’t to your liking, they represent an attitude that you find off-putting, or one look at a picture of them and you conclude they’re a bunch of douches. The worst reason not to like a band is because, simply put, they’re boring. Radar Brothers most recent release The Illustrated Garden (set to come out March 23) is — simply put — boring.

Not only does the boredom stain their own work, it puts a bad taste in the mouth of similar, more pronounced artists. They take far too many Elliott Smith and Pinback elements and come off less as their own band and more as some cryptic version of other more mature acts. They’re Media by The Faint without the excitement; they’re The Shins without a sense of age; they’re The Anniversary without any real desire.

I personally hate trashing music; I’ve always thought it was one of those things that’s quick and scores way too much music cred among the so-called Unseen Panel of Hipster Judges. It’s much easier to talk about the things you dislike than the things you do like. There is not much at all that I actually like about The Illustrated Garden. I don’t believe the words of the singer, I’m not convinced the drummer even wants to be in the room when he’s playing his sad little fills and crashes, and I’m almost positive the guitarist isn’t trying at all to make a sound that represents something relatable to the rest of the songs.

Anytime I don’t have anything nice to say about a band I can at least follow it up by saying, “It’s not my style, but it could work for you.” Truth be told, I cannot imagine recommending this band to any fans of any type of music. They have nothing to offer, and anyone who claims The Illustrated Garden is worth listening to is either lying to you or is suffering from some kind of musical delusion.

(Merge Records, PO Box 1235, Chapel Hill, NC 27514)