PATHOLOGY

Originally published in Verbicide issue #25

Camelot Pictures
93 min., dir. by Marc Schoelermann, with Milo Ventimiglia, Michael Weston, and Alyssa Milano

It’s always a shame when a potentially great concept is ruined by poor execution. Such is the case with the new horror/thriller, Pathology, a film that never fails to perk interest when described by word of mouth but never fulfills expectations when viewed.

Although the title might suggest a killer virus storyline, surprisingly, there are no diseases mentioned from start to finish. The characters do, however, all work in the pathology department of an urban hospital, spending their days cutting open the dead to determine the cause of death. Enter Ted Grey (Milo Ventimiglia), a recently transferred pathologist whose overachieving demeanor is ill received by his coworkers. That is, until he’s convinced to join their game: each takes a turn killing someone in a mysterious fashion while everyone else tries to solve the murder once the body’s on the autopsy table.

So here we have a very dark, very cool idea for a serious thriller that could’ve worked quite well as a poor man’s Se7en or Kiss The Girls. Instead, the film is dumbed down to the most gratuitous blood and guts horror show: ridiculous drug use, late-night Cinemax sex scenes, and the most “bad ass” medical minds to ever lift a scalpel. I’ll gladly admit an over-the-top, just plain silly slasher can be just what the doctor ordered sometimes, but not when the potential for an actually decent film is sliced up more than a formaldehyde-soaked cadaver.

All I can say is if the world of medicine was truly the rock star lifestyle as it is in this movie, there’d be a lot more people going for their PhDs. All night raves, sadomasochistic sex, smoking crack…being a doctor sure is crazy! And the absurd behavior is only magnified more and more as the film goes on. Forget the super-genius psychosis of Dr. Hannibal Lecter. That was one thing. Two bloodstained female MDs making out over an open carcass…that’s just grindhouse material.

Even the acting potential was wasted in this film. Ventimiglia does the best he can in the lead as a man struggling with his carnal desires that contradict what he knows about right and wrong. Despite the fact he makes the switch from good doctor to bad boy far too quickly, Ventimiglia remains convincing as being stuck between the light and dark sides. Michael Weston, who you may recognize as “Kenny the cop” from Garden State, handles his role as the sleaziest, most unstable doc of the entire shady group. And Alyssa Milano gets to act a little outside the limits of her role on “Charmed” and reveal quite a bit more of herself in her part as Ted’s fiancée. I’m sure there’s going to be a lot of you out there with a Milano celebrity crush wondering how I could ever speak negative of this movie after you see it.

But a competent, good-looking cast can’t make up for the increasing lack of substance as the film goes on. They only reinforce, along with the gritty hospital atmosphere and impressive harsh lighting, a viewer’s desire to want more from the film as a whole. Perhaps knowing that the scribes of the Jason Staham action flick, Crank, penned Pathology’s script, you may be compelled to let the lack of seriousness slide. But Crank’s out of control, no holds barred style was entirely appropriate for its insane storyline. We allowed the characters to act in such a way because they consisted of gangsters and hitmen. But when one tries to translate the ultra-intelligent academia of medicine into the lowest of lowbrow, it becomes like a chest cavity after an autopsy: missing its guts and void of a heart.